Finding the Perfect Mate of the Right Sex
Ok, so the title is a teeny bit misleading, I know, but bear with me on this.
I’m not that much into politics and I really don’t keep up with all the crap happening in the so- called Maldivian political arena but I do check up on new developments once in a while to see if anything of island-shattering importance had happened every week or so while I was preoccupied with things of lesser importance such as earning a living and enjoying life. But the last time I peeked in to the arena, I found out to my delight that SLP’s Ibra had landed himself a female running mate!
Oh my, I thought to myself. Now there’s a man who’s not afraid of shaking things up. Even the much hero-worshipped MDP ‘scapegoat’ Anni had developed a fucking yellow streak down his back (to match the one that hangs perpetually around his neck, presumably) at the last bloody second, bowing down to ‘religious pressure’ from the learned religious ‘scholars’ of his Party when it came to choosing a running mate of the opposite sex.
But back to the Bra-man: Pulling a McCain is one thing but Ibra has to do a lot better if he wants to secure my vote. Right now the only thing I know for sure is that there are some candidates I will NOT vote for: Maumoon, because his ugly mug makes me want to puke; Umar, because the tyrant-wannabe just freaks me out; and Gasim, because he’s the biggest perv I’ve had the displeasure of knowing.
The others all have an equal chance of turning me around. Yes, even Anni Dhivehiraajje. There’s still two weeks to decide after all, right?
After learning of Ibra’s choice, I have to admit I sort of naturally gravitated towards his camp, despite a rational part of me protesting and crying out for me to look at things objectively. Then last night, while watching TVM (a very rare incident, I assure you) I saw the ad for the planned debate between the presidential candidates’ running-mates. Imagine my surprise when Ibra’s running mate was glaringly absent.
I don’t know the real reason why she isn’t participating in the debate (so far) but the theories –rumours, I should say – among the public is very worrying. Some say that someone had played the religion card again, forbidding her from taking part in the debate with four men while others said that she’s just not qualified enough to take part in the debate with four other ‘intelligent and knowledgeable’ men who would totally destroy and embarrass her pathetic ass on public TV. Not surprisingly, the lack of qualifications theory was raised again and again by several of the people I talked to, and some even gave a funny example by saying that Umar’s running mate wasn’t taking part either since the man, Rizwy or someone, was no way qualified or experienced enough to take part in a debate.
I wonder how tough cop Umar would take to his choice of running mate being compared to a ‘weak’ woman.
I’ve heard several religious ‘scholars’ say that Islam is extremely incompatible with the concept of democracy. If that’s true shouldn’t having a presidential candidate itself be forbidden? I’m sure there is some verse in some dusty old book that forbids it. Someone recently told me that Umar’s Islamic Democratic Party was the funniest oxymoron he had ever heard. I said fine by me since Umar is the biggest fucking moron I’ve ever seen! It’s perfect.
But I digress.
Anyway, whatever the reasons, the decision to stay away from the debate is a bad one, from what I’ve seen and heard anyway. But, as they say, we’ll just have to wait and see how this plays out.
On a side note, I’m keenly interested in knowing in what poetic and ambiguous verse the learned ‘scholars’ of MDP had found the revelation which explicitly stated that a woman could not be the running mate of the declared presidential candidate of MDP. I’m thinking that for a bunch of people who are able to find fantastically precise details when it came to interpreting women’s fashion in religion, the verse that made it haram for MDP to get a female running mate for Anni must have been a real fucking doozy as far as exact details went. I wonder if their translation of the verse specifically mentioned MDP! Most probably.